Navigating the Portal, by looking to the stars

Happy Sunday, Soothers, and welcome back to my series of teaching essays, on Navigating the Portal.

You can read about what The Portal is here.

You can read the first essay in Navigating the Portal, How to Build a Relationship With Yourself, here.

And today, we’re going to turn to one of the most profound tools I used to navigate the Portal, that I used as a guiding light throughout the chaotic years, a tool that gave me a roadmap for how to step into my next iteration, my next identity of self, that feels like, at the age of 44, it’s finally settling in:

The North Node, and its sister, the point we’re moving away from, the South Node.

In astrology, the North Node and South Node are points on the Moon's orbital path around the Earth. They are not physical celestial bodies but rather mathematical points that represent the intersection of the Moon's orbit with the Earth's ecliptic plane.

The North Node is associated with one's life path, destiny, and the qualities and experiences that an individual is meant to develop in the current lifetime. It’s often considered a point of growth and represents areas where a person may need to step out of their comfort zone.

The South Node is linked to past experiences, talents, and patterns that individuals have already mastered in previous lifetimes. It signifies tendencies and skills that come naturally to a person but may also represent areas of comfort or over-reliance on familiar patterns.

And, guess what?

The North Node starts getting activated in your late 30s, and really starts getting going when you turn 40 and in your early 40s.

Making it a perfect tool for better understanding where and what The Portal is inviting you into, and also, the behaviors that you are meant to leave behind and stop over-relying on.

(If you’re younger than your late 30s and read this, know that the North Node doesn’t really make sense to try to step into before that age, but you can still use it as overall guidance.)

Your North Node will likely feel activating, unfamiliar, challenging. That’s because it’s meant to be skills that you are learning, anew, in this lifetime.

You’ll cling to your South Node behaviors, too, because they will feel comfortable, and they are the skills you’ve spent lifetimes relying on, but they are behaviors and ways of being that are meant to be shed in this lifetime.

Overall, the North Node is a sharp growth edge, that once you learn how to own it, creates a flow in your life. It’s like using incredibly sharp chef’s knifes that cut you over and over again when you start using them, but eventually you master them and are chopping onions like a boss.

There are four parts to your North Node/South Node: Your North Node sign, the house it’s in; and the opposing South Node sign, and the house it’s in.

Your North Node sign is WHAT you’re mean to learn and step into in this lifetime, and the house it’s in, is the how. Think of your North Node as the destination you’re meant to drive to in this lifetime. The house your North Node is in is the CAR and the way of driving you are meant to get to that destination.

When you first encounter the concept of the North Node, it can feel a little overwhelming and vague, so let me ground it and its potential and lessons by telling you my North Node placements and story.

My North Node is in Virgo, and it’s in the second house, which is ruled by Taurus. This means my South Node is in the sign opposite of Virgo — Pisces — and in the house opposite of the second house, which is the eighth house, which is ruled by Scorpio.

So I am meant to step into Virgo, the sign of healing, boundaries, service, editing, routines, health, in a very Taurean way — slowly, simply, by being in nature, taking my time, learning to build things.

To reinforce the car analogy, I’m going to a destination that’s all about health and service (Virgo), and I’m going there slowly, stopping along the way to look at nature, taking my time, learning how to repair my car along the way, and it’s a car I bought with my own earnings (in a Taurean manner).

Since my North Node is in Virgo, that means my South Node is in Pisces. The shadow side of Pisces is codependency, nomadic lifestyles, people-pleasing, being too dreamy and ungrounded and head in the clouds, sometimes addiction to substances. But Pisces has beautiful stuff, too: spirituality, compassion, mysticism, creative, healing.

And with my North Node house being ruled by Taurus, it means my South Node house is ruled by Scorpio — a sign of great depth, power, intensity, magnetism, but also destruction, secrecy, unfounded suspicion.

So my North Node/South Node journey is to strive to be more Virgo and Taurus-like in both my career, and my daily life: more routine, more structure, healthy eating and workouts, taking care of my body responsibly, not drinking or using substances (even coffee!), more attention to detail, learning to “build,” metaphorically and literally.

Meanwhile, I want to keep the “light” or healthy sides of Pisces and Scorpio, while striving to leave behind the shadow elements of the signs (addiction, disassociation, destruction, over-intensity) that no longer serve me or are even a bit toxic.

This has really been a tough journey for me, but at 44, I finally feel like I’ve gotten a serious handle on it. Moving into my North Node of Virgo in the house ruled by Taurus has meant embracing…

• Quitting substances, including alcohol

• Meal planning and regular grocery shopping, which I used to (and kind of still do) really hate and resist

• Creating routines (boring!)

• Learning energetic and emotional boundaries and actually sticking to them

• Articulating my values and learning to live by them

• Learning to literally build and fix things with my hands (still working on this one!)

• Growing my own material security and net worth (Taurus rules creating your own money; Scorpio rules other people’s money, so one of my journeys is to make my own money through my own work)

• Connecting more closely with nature

• Learning to garden

• Getting more comfortable with details of everything

• Simplicity

• Making concrete moves to actually building my dreams

And it’s meant leaving behind…

• Depending on other people’s money

• Unhealthy power dynamics

• A need for control, secrecy

• Drama

• Being all up in other people’s business

• Trying to be a detective into other people’s lives and emotions

• Self-pity

• Codependent behavior

• Getting lost in daydreams or fantasies without building towards them or taking concrete action to those dreams

Here’s another story to ground it, from my North Node adventure:

People with South Node Pisces/North Node Virgos are said to be some of the most sensitive and most spiritual people you can encounter, because a Pisces South Node was likely, for many past lifetimes, a monk, nun, or spiritual martyr. They spent most of their time in divine contemplation or spiritual service, connecting with the universe or their spiritual/religious practice. They were living in a spiritual center, and had all details taken care of for them — their routines, their meals, etc. They were told when to rise, when to eat, what to eat, and other duties.

This means that when they come into this lifetime, figuring out the “real world” on their own is kind of a rude awakening for them. Meal planning — what’s that? Healthy routines? OMG, they’re newborn babies, what’s a routine? Stuff like finances or how to pay their taxes — blank stares.

This was very much my experience in my 20s and 30s. Please cut to my refrigerator, which often contained only a bottle of mayonnaise and a can of Miller Lite. Meal planning made me want to shut down and throw up simultaneously; it seemed extremely complicated and overwhelming. I didn’t know how to pay my taxes. I didn’t have routines. I had unhealthy reliances on alcohol, day-dreaming, and not-so-healthy romantic and sexual relationships with drama-filled men.

I would have been quite happy living in my head forever, not figuring out how to have to exist and navigate details of anything or the “real world,” disassociating, drinking too much wine, and stalking all of my exes’ social medias profiles forever.

And that’s when the North Node came knocking.

And thank goodness it did.

The North Node gave me a roadmap of behavior and ways of being that helped me step into my true purpose and behaviors that create flow in this lifetime.

Did I easily jump into and adapt everything a Virgo/Taurus North Node should do?

Nope. In many cases, I went screaming, succumbing only after it was apparently that the other way, my South Node ways, just really, really, REALLY didn’t work any more.

And the North Node was full of challenges. A North Node characteristic for my Virgo/Taurus sign I’m learning now? Doing repairs around the house… myself. Like, learning to use a drill, take a door off its hinges so I can sand it down and paint it., etc. I hate and resist this so much, but it really tracks with my North Node goals, so I keep going.

I also hold on to the healthy, developed talents I bring related to Pisces and Scorpio. Creativity, spirituality, magnetism, depth — these all still get to come with me in this lifetime. They’re just paired with my work stepping into my North Node.

So are you ready to figure out your North Node sign and house to help you navigate your time in The Portal? Here’s how you do it:

Go to any astrology chart site. Astro-charts.com is good. Fill in your info (you need your birth date, time and location).

You’re looking for the glyph (aka symbol) that looks a bit like a horseshoe or a pair of headphones: ☊

Look for what sign it’s under, and also what house (which will be numbered) it’s in. My North Node of Virgo is in the 2nd house, but if yours is in, say, Aries, in the 11th house, google “What sign rules the 11th house?” (It’s Aquarius, btw.)

And then you can do your research from there!

I’ll be leading a workshop on the North Nodes in February inside the Sunday Soother membership, but you can also find plenty of sites and books that will have great info about this. One of my favorite North Node books is Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller.

Want my take on it? The first 5 people to leave their North Node sign and house in the comments, I’ll drop a little line telling you North Node invitation and purpose.

And come back next week for my next teaching essay in the series, Navigating the Portal.